Baldness: Don’t be Shy Again

Have you ever been asked this question in your 30s “How many years are left for your retirement “?

Do people of your age address you as uncle?

Are your scared of getting yourself clicked as you cannot see your own picture?

Do you fear going to your child’s school for fear of looking older than his father’s age?

Do people respect you more than they should because they think you are older than your actual age?

Do people in their fifties and sixties think that you are almost of their age?

If answer to all of these questions is yes, then my last question

Are you male in your 30s who is bald?

Baldness is an issue which has plagued men for centuries, for a man not only loses his attractiveness but also starts looking older much beyond his natural age. Virility and manliness is also associated with hair and having lesser hair on one’s forehead makes one appear less manly.

In this age of high definition where in you are judged by your attractiveness on Social Media being bald can be excruciatingly painful for anybody who wants to be seen as young, vibrant and enthusiastic and losing one’s hair can be mentally devastating. Hair fall for men seems natural if it starts in mid to late 40s and by the time scalp is bereft of hair if the man is in his 50s it can be dealt with. However, it becomes difficult to cope up if your hairline starts receding in early 20s and problem is compounded when you are completely bald barely in your 30s.

It is not surprising to note that large number of men experience distress with their hair loss and it has led to their mental health problems. Yet men rarely discuss openly how much upset their hair loss is causing them. It’s a shameful secret which is best kept under the wraps.

Sometimes the first anyone knows that it’s even been on their mind is when they have a hair transplant. At times people get so upset that they feel unable to leave the house for they will be looked differently. A fifth of men will experience significant hair loss by the age of 20, meaning that this is something that is an issue affecting many of us, both young and old alike.

There’s an enduring idea that a man’s hair is linked with ideas of strength and power – think of the biblical story of Samson and Delilah, where the source of his strength was his hair until she cut it off while he was sleeping. The image of a fat, balding old man who is mocked because of his looks strikes horror into the heart of many young men who find themselves thinning.

Some men start loosing hair in early twenties and by the time a guy reaches his marriage age, problem becomes so acute that finding the right match becomes an issue for the person for hair is associated with looks and beauty. For most of the men seeing his hair loss everyday can be nightmarish. It can be both mentally and physically depressing and torturous when people of your age start addressing you as uncle. In this age of Facebook Instagram and selfies, you will find very few bald people who want to get themselves clicked for the fear of looking older than their usual age. Even though not everything is depressing people start taking you seriously and you are held in high regard for you look much older and mature but then it’s too big a price to pay for having an opinion or having a say.

This topic has been touched in the latest movies Bala and Ujjda Chaman which have highlighted the predicament of young men in their 30s who lost their hair before they got married. However, in the end both these men accepted their fait accompli and lived on happily ever after but in reality it can be psychologically devastating.

By the time you are in your late 30’s hair is completely gone and most of the people opt for hair patch to get their looks back but hair patches can be quite tacky and annoying for somebody who cannot carry it well. Another option is that of hair transplant. It has some health implications and is a long drawn process which can take some time to actually show meaningful results.

I feel the trick is to ignore those comments and continue to carry yourself in a dignified way. This indeed can be a blessing in disguise for you need to be fitter and slimmer than other people to look young and smart.

In the end I feel all of us have some insecurities some people are fat, some have dark skin, some people have scars on their faces, some are short others have love handles to deal with. Some people start having wrinkles but it is most important to be comfortable with our bodies. Even obese people face lot of discrimination.

Even though baldness cannot be cured but that does not preclude you from looking fitter and smarter. It is not a disease, it is not a curse, it is just that we have lesser hair on our heads but there is a silver lining as well our brains are more open for there is no obstruction.